Tag: Repentance

Missing the Mark in Ministry

by Jordan, posted in Uncategorized

I was at lunch with a friend this week, talking about the things the Lord is teaching us in this season. She said one of her recent prayers was, “Lord, thank you for letting me fall short, so I know where the end of me is.”

It was a gut punch.

Because I hate when I fall short.
I hate when I let people down.
I hate when I miss the mark.

Sometimes I lament that I didn’t read the terms and conditions of “being in ministry” closely enough, because falling short is what I spend a lot of my time doing.

Continue reading “Missing the Mark in Ministry” →

Flawed Definitions

by Jordan, posted in Christian Living, Testimony

The words sound empty and hollow, even to me.
I’m on autopilot, saying the things I know would get me an A in an English course,
but mean nothing to the one I’m talking to.
I say sorry for the millionth time,
and for the millionth time we both know I would do it again.
Maybe even tonight.
Repeat. Repent. Repeat. Repent.
Please, God, break this shell. Get through to me.
Forbid me. Punish me.
Fix me.

I was going through an old journal, and found this entry I wrote about prayer when I was in high school. I was struggling with an addiction at the time and felt like repentance was losing its meaning. I would apologize, agonize, and then fall into the same temptation again. The problem was that I had a flawed definition of repentance and I was trying to break an addiction by myself. Continue reading “Flawed Definitions” →