Doubting My Salvation

My dad baptized me when I was a child, but I spent years doubting my salvation and wondering if it had worked. I would ask adults in my life if I was going to Heaven, and they always gave me the same response: I can’t answer that for you. As someone who likes black and white answers, I hated that nobody could assure me I was saved.

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Don’t Be Their Hometown

Then Jesus told them, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his own family.” — Matthew‬ ‭13:57‬

These were the words Jesus spoke while in his own hometown. The crowd was amazed by what he had been teaching, but they soon became distracted by his past and the things they knew about him: “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son?”

They missed out on the miracles and presence of Jesus because they couldn’t let go of who they thought He was. They “bore witness and marveled” at the empowering presence of God on Him, but then they reduced him back to the familiar and lost out on the eternal.

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The Harvest is Promised

In a season full of flooding, snowing, and ice storms (oh my!), sicknesses, fighting with insurance, losing power, remote learning, rebuilding, relocating, grieving, mothering two kiddos whose worlds were turned upside down, walking through trauma with flood victims while still processing our own, and working full time… I find myself a bit weary.

And by “a bit weary,” I mean the bone-tired, falling-asleep-while-standing kind of weary.

Some days, I’m ready to throw in the towel. Give up the good fight. Raise the white flag. Call it quits and go hibernate until summer finally arrives.

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Battling in Prayer With Jesus

“Tarry with Me.”

The Lord gave me that phrase during my prayer time two years ago, and I had to go look it up because I wasn’t used to Him talking to me in KJV (lol).

I found it in Matthew, when Jesus was praying in the garden before the crucifixion, and He asked the disciples: Tarry with me.

Stay with me. Be in companionship with me and battle with me in prayer.

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The Joy of Self-Despair

What’s one thing that dramatically changed your walk with Jesus?

For me, it was learning to distinguish between true despair and self-despair. As many of you know, I grew up ensnared in addiction. Trying to live a Christian life looked a lot like this:

  • Sin.
  • Try to stop.
  • Fail.
  • Despair.

I spent over a decade stuck in that cycle, despairing of ever living a life for Jesus or breaking my addiction. I was sure that anything good the Lord had planned for my life had been ruined.

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