Several years ago, I encountered the love of God while sitting in a closet.
I was feeling broken and defeated after years of trying (and failing) to pull myself together. I had been avoiding God for years, certain He wouldn’t want to talk to me anyways. But that day, curled up in my closet, I tentatively asked if it was possible for Him to still love me, “even though…”
- Even though I made some really bad decisions.
- Even though I didn’t read my Bible.
- Even though I stopped going to church.
- Even though I was wrestling with addiction.
- Even though I didn’t deserve it.
Even though…
Then, right in the middle of listing out all my shortcomings, it was like a dam burst, and I was flooded by the overwhelming love of my Father.
That love felt like an invitation: to open my Bible, to start going back to church, and to start pursuing a relationship with Him, without the constant worry that He wouldn’t want me.
I accepted the invitation, and as I learned to sit in His presence and receive His love for me, my heart and mind began to transform. The Word started to come to life, and I found myself looking forward to opening my Bible, knowing He was going to meet me there. I found myself falling in love with Him and out of love with the things of this world. His love had completely changed my life, and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.
But, I had to go back to the Lord and tell Him, “I don’t know how to share this with anyone. I didn’t go to school for this. I didn’t make the best choices. What qualifies me to tell anyone about You?”
And, in His kindness, He led me to two passages.
The first was the Samaritan woman at the well. I love her story, because she spent time in the presence of Jesus, had a revelation about who He truly was, and then she couldn’t help but go tell everyone about it. When she first met Jesus, she had been married five times and was living with a man who wasn’t her husband. She didn’t have a sparkling reputation or any religious training. The only thing that qualified her to tell her entire village about the Messiah was the time she spent in His presence. And Scripture says that many came to faith because of her testimony, and they all flocked to Jesus because they desired their own personal encounter.
I realized that’s who I want to be—someone who lives and speaks in a way that those I encounter want to run straight to Jesus.
The second passage He gave me is in Acts, when Peter and John were arrested and stood before the high priests. Acts 4:13 says, “The council members were astonished as they witnessed the bold courage of Peter and John, especially when they discovered they were just ordinary men who had never had religious training. Then they began to understand the effect Jesus had on them by simply spending time with them.”
The religious leaders realized that time in the presence of Jesus had given both of these men such bold courage that nothing could stop their message from spreading. They commanded them to stop teaching and speaking in the Name of Jesus, but in Acts 4:20, Peter and John say back to the council, “It is impossible for us to stop speaking about all the things we have seen and heard.”
That is my testimony. I’m an ordinary girl whose never had any religious training. I have many things in my past I’m not proud of. But spending time in the presence of God broke decade-old chains of guilt, shame, and doubt off of me and allowed me to experience a fullness of freedom that is so overwhelming, the shame of my past seems insignificant in comparison.
And I want to tell everyone.
Not because I have some degree, or some perfect history. But because I don’t.
Because He sat with me and loved me before I was fixed, and that is what set me free. I am not an expert in anything. All I know is that it is for freedom I have been set free, and it is impossible for me to stop speaking about the things I have seen and heard.
Nothing beats Jesus, friends.
Grace Waves 