The Messy Places

Today, as I was putting away a folded pile of laundry, I realized that of all the rooms in our house, our bedroom is usually the messiest. Logically, I suppose it makes sense. We want people to feel welcome in our home, so we spend most of our time cleaning the rooms they are going to see.

But how often is our marriage that way?

We spend the most time working on the pieces other people will see so we can portray a picture-perfect family to the world. But when we get to the intimate side of marriage, or the room where it’s really just the two of us, what have we left untouched, uncleaned, or unsaid?

Living with a toddler and a baby, it’s easy to put their needs ahead of each other’s needs. When there’s never-ending laundry to do, dishes to clean, toys to pick up, and meals to cook, I sometimes feel like a super mom at the end of the day without realizing I never kissed my husband.

Some Sundays we go to church and the whole family is clean and presentable, but there’s a mess in my heart. I feel resentful, prideful, selfish… Some Sundays, my burdens feel heavier than I can bear. But rarely in those moments do I look at the shoulders of my husband and wonder what weight he is carrying.

Our marriage should be our place of refuge. When we turn to each other, we should find restoration, and the only way to transform our marriage into a place of rest is to continually invite God into it. We need to ask Him to be present not only in our clean places but also in our messy ones.

So this morning, after my husband left for work, I spent time in our bedroom. I made our bed and put away the laundry. I dusted the blinds and swept the floor. I was intentional about making sure that our bedroom felt as warm and inviting as the rest of our home.

But more importantly, I prayed that today I would remember to prioritize my marriage and my husband. I prayed for a heart of discernment so that when he comes home with all of those burdens on his shoulders, we can lay them down together at the foot of the altar.

10 thoughts on “The Messy Places

  1. Great article. You are very wise to honor your husband in this way. We just celebrated 25 years this past May. In the beginning, I’m not sure I remembered to do this. Once I invited Jesus into my heart and our marriage, I saw my husband in a whole new way. Blessings!


  2. This is such an important topic! I love how you talk about thinking about what your husband is carrying on his shoulder, come Sunday. Maybe if we think about this, we’ll be more kind with our words & our actions. Thanks for these reminders!


  3. Very convicting. I’m guilty of this just about every day. I rationalize that our little people need me more than he does. Which is true when it comes to bathroom duty, but not when it comes to emotional support and stability.


  4. Love this post. Such a great reminder to love and nurture our marriages in the midst of busy life. I love how ypu finish the post by praying for a heart of discernment for your hubby – so beautiful. This post really spoke to me. Thank you


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