Recovering From Postpartum Depression

In the months before my daughter was born, I talked with several friends who had struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety. I wanted to make sure I was prepared just in case. But nobody told me I might not recognize that I was depressed.

I’m thankful for a doctor who did recognize the signs, even as I told her everything was fine. Looking back, I don’t know how I missed it. Words I constantly found myself using were: overwhelmed, guilty, disconnected, failure. I kept asking myself, “Why can’t I just get over this?” But there’s also so much JOY that comes with new motherhood, and I told myself that the extreme highs and lows were just a part of that new season. I told myself the fog was from the lack of sleep. I told myself that the sadness I felt to the depths of my soul was hormones.

When it finally felt like I regained control of my life, I was left wrestling with the question, “Who was that?” Who was that person who shut out her husband and friends, struggled to make simple decisions, and woke her baby up every few minutes to make sure she was still breathing? I didn’t know how to find myself again.

For anyone who feels lost, wondering who they are, here are the words that reminded me:

I am chosen by God, holy and dearly loved. (Colossians 3:12)
I am sanctified. (Hebrews 2:11)
I am anointed. (1 John 2:27)
I am loved. (1 John 4:10)
I am the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13)
I am the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14)
I am healed. (Isaiah 53:5)
I am victorious. (1 Corinthians 15:57)
I am HIS. (Galatians 2:20)

10 Comments

  1. Melissa

    Thank you so much for sharing your story Jordan! There are so many moms out there that are struggling with depression and cannot identify what’s wrong. There is a stigma around depression – even in the church – that keeps the necessary conversations hidden and whispered.

    It is women like you – with the courage to put yourself out there – that make a difference in the lives of others 🙂

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  2. Hannah

    I’ve been considering doing a post along these lines myself, as I also experienced post natal depression/anxiety. It is easy to identify looking back, but at the time I was convinced I was fine even though health professionals were encouraging me to seek help. What did get me through was dwelling on Scripture, like you said, and the support of my dear mother. It’s encouraging to hear from other mothers who have been through it, as for a long time I felt very much on my own and a failure. Thank you.
    Hannah from http://www.womanontheway.com

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    1. Jordan

      I completely agree! Finding a community that can help support you through something like this is such an incredible comfort. Sending love to you ❤

      Like

  3. Kristi McAllister

    I don’t have children, but I have a friend who went through a really difficult time with postpartum depression and it was hard. Thank goodness her doctor recognized the symptoms like yours did and she was back to herself after some medical intervention. Thank you for being so transparent about your experience — your story will bring much awareness to often ignored issue.

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  4. lws1996

    I can totally relate to this! I am six months postpartum, and I thought the only way to get through it was to shut everyone out, and get on anti-depressants. It has been a very hard time for me, but God has been the only one to bring me through this dark experience in my life, and I am not on any medication now I am trusting God to bring me back to who I really am loved, appreciated, needed, hopeful, joyful, etc.

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  5. kbraswell1187

    So powerful! I’m certain I had this with my first guy, but it went untreated. Except for the positivity and prayer of those around me. Thank you so much for sharing!

    Like

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